He's Not Yours
by strdstbttrfly
Summary: Elizabeth deals with the effects of finding out Aiden is not hers.  Jason struggles with the need to help her and to keep her safe  And Brenda wants to know the story between Jason and Elizabeth and she will stop at nothing to get the story.
1. Chapter 1

_**He's Not Yours**_

_Chapter 1_

"He's not yours!" Those words kept running through her mind. For the past three weeks, those words have been continuously on her mind. How could he not be hers? She carried him for nine months. The day Helena gathered the Quartermaines, Spencers and Cassadines at Wyndmere she knew it couldn't be good news, but what she heard was nothing she was expecting. Aiden was not her child; he was Nikolas' child but not hers. Aiden was Emily's child. Helena hated Emily why would she want Nikolas to have a child with her, even after Emily was gone? No one would ever understand Helena's reasoning for anything but now three weeks later Elizabeth was still left to wonder how Aiden was not hers. The tests had been run and they proved that Emily was Aiden's mother, but how that is possible no one would know at least not right now. Helena had disappeared before anyone could ask her how and why and Elizabeth desperately needed those answers.

Elizabeth was pulled from her thoughts at the sound of her sons' laughter as they played on the swings. Elizabeth thought by bringing her boys to the park she could keep her mind occupied as well as her boys. Cameron and Jake did not understand why Aiden was not staying with them and Elizabeth did not know how to answer them since she didn't know the answers either. She would just tell them that Aiden would be staying with his daddy. Elizabeth was startled when she heard someone approaching.

"Hey."

There was only one person that could say "Hey" and Elizabeth's world feel whole for one small moment.

"Hi, Jason."

He would always be her Jason, but he looked older and tired. The man that stood in front of her did not look like the Jason she had always known, he looked lost. But the last time he saw her, he probably thought the same thing. If Elizabeth was truthful to herself, she had been lost since that day in the courthouse.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Jason motioned to the seat next to her.

"Of course not." Elizabeth moved her things so that Jason could sit down.

Jason spotted the boys playing and Elizabeth could swear she saw a glimmer of pride and hope in his eyes but she pushed that aside. Jason had moved on.

She knew what his next words would be. For the past three weeks everyone's next words were the same. Did anyone think that she would answer with an upbeat response that would make them think she hadn't just lost a child she was raising as her own? Did they think that after three weeks the pain was going to be gone? She knew they cared but she was tired of seeing that look in everyone's eyes. Why would Jason be any different than anyone at the hospital or the people at Kelly's or even her family? He didn't know her anymore, did he? But he didn't ask her. He sat there for a few minutes watching Jake and Cam play and then spoke.

"The boys are growing so fast. Jake will be taller than Cam soon. They are so great with each other. How have they been?"

Elizabeth was taken aback. Jason was the first to ask about the boys. No one had been concerned about how they were handling things. She shouldn't have been surprised though. Elizabeth knew that even though Jason hadn't seen or spoken to the boys in over a year, she knew he loved them. Even when she let her thoughts get the best of her, she knew Jason's decision to stay away was for the boys safety not because he didn't love them. No father could give up their child if he didn't love him, right?

"You are the first person to ask me that." She saw Jason look at her but she did not turn to meet his gaze. "They keep asking me when Aiden will come home. I don't know what to tell them, other than he is with his daddy. I don't know how to answer them when I don't even know. Emily was and will always be my best friend and if she were still here I would be ecstatic for her and Nikolas to have a child together. But I carried Aiden for nine months and I believed he was mine. I don't understand how he cannot be. How did I not know that something was done to me?"

"Elizabeth, you know the things Helena is capable of. No one ever knows why she does the things she does and you may never get the answers you are looking for. I know you are hurt but looking for answers that you will never get won't help you."

"I know, but I don't know how to move on. I thought he was mine, I still do." Tears began to stream down Elizabeth's face and Jason put his arms around her to comfort her. If he could take all her pain away he would but he didn't know how to fix this for her. He still loved her so much but keeping her and the boys safe was more important than his selfish needs, but then again if he would have been there with her she wouldn't be going through this pain right now.

Elizabeth sat up when she heard the boys laughter stop. She glanced over to see a dark-haired woman talking to the boys. She started to get up when the woman turned around and she saw it was Brenda Barrett. A sigh of relief went through Elizabeth's body as Brenda started towards them.

Jason sensed a change in Elizabeth. Not that her pain had went away but that her motherly instincts were on alert. Her body stiffened and he did not know why. He turned to see Brenda with the boys and at that moment he felt Elizabeth's body relax. She was on alert even through all her pain, even when they were not together she was on alert to protect her children. He respected her so much for being a wonderful mother to his children. Even if Cam wasn't his biologically that didn't matter. He was Elizabeth's and in Jason's heart he was his too, even if no one would ever know how much he loved those boys and their mother. When did his life go so wrong, how did he get here? Jason stood to greet an approaching Brenda.

"Brenda. Am I late for our meeting?"

"Hello to you too, Jason. And no. I heard the boys' laughter and I had to see where it was coming from."

"Oh."

"Hi, I am Brenda" Brenda said as she extended her hand to Elizabeth.

"I know. You can't live in Port Charles and no know Brenda Barrett." Elizabeth half-heartedly joked. "But it is nice to finally meet you. I'm Elizabeth Webber."

"I have heard Robin talk about you. You have been a good friend to her."

The ladies exchanged smiles as the boys approached.

"Mommy, Jake and I are hungry."

"Well, why don't we head home and fill those bellies then?"

"Ok" the boys spoke in unison.

"Boys can you tell Jason and the nice lady bye?"

"Bye Jason, we've missed you. I got a new motorcycle to play with. Can you come by and play sometime?" Cam rambled on.

Jason looked uncomfortable and not sure how to answer but Elizabeth saved him. She was always good at making him feel comfortable again.

"Cam, come on let's get going and get you home to some food."

"Bye, Jason. Bye nice lady" Jason and Brenda heard as Elizabeth walked away with the boys holding her hands. And Jason thought there she goes again walking out of my life. It never gets easier no matter how hard he tries to hide the pain; it still hurts to watch her walk away.

"What's the story there?"

"What do you mean?"

"There's a story. I can see it. Spill."

"Brenda, there is no story. And if there was why would I tell you? Now, come on we are late for the meeting."

"There's a story and I am going to find out." Brenda said to herself as Jason walked away. Brenda would get her answers. Brenda couldn't let anything go and she needed to know the story. Jason always seemed emotionless, he had to be in his job, but there was more to it now. Jason and Brenda may not always get along but she really wanted him to be happy and she knew he wasn't happy now. It was like he was going through life but not living it. Brenda did not know how Jason's personal life turned out how it did but she was going to find out. And the distraction would keep her mind off Sonny for a while.

Brenda had heard from Robin what had happened to Elizabeth Webber and her baby but there was something more going on with her and Jason. Brenda could see it. Brenda was going to stop by and see Robin later, so she would talk to her then. Elizabeth seemed like a nice girl and if Brenda knew anything she knew the heart of a good girl and the heart of a bad boy and these two had that deadly combination. She could see it in their eyes.

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_**This is my first story, so be gentle. :) I wanted to get feedback to see if anyone else liked this story line. R&R. Thank you!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for all the reviews, I appreciate them because I was so nervous about posting my first story. No Elizabeth and Jason in this chapter but the chapters will build up to it. Read on. :)_

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He's Not Yours  
Chapter 2

After her meeting with Jason and his guards, Brenda headed to the hospital to meet Robin for lunch. Robin was having a hard time with the separation from Patrick and Brenda wanted to be there to help her but she also wanted to know what was happening with Jason and Elizabeth. And maybe by questioning Robin, Brenda could keep Robin's mind occupied and get the answers she wanted.

"Hey, Robin. You ready for lunch?" Brenda asked as she stepped off the elevator and noticed Robin standing at the nurses' station.

"Yea. Just let me finish this last chart." Robin spoke as she jotted a few things down in a hospital chart. "Done, let's go. I need to get out of here."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I keep running into Patrick and I am not ready to talk to him. And I don't want to talk about it right now. Ok?"

"Ok. You will not hear his name come out of my mouth." Brenda said as they stepped on the elevator knowing that by the time their lunch was over Robin would bring up Patrick's name. "Where do you want eat?"

"How bout Kelly's? I'm not in the mood for a big meal"

"Sounds great."

Brenda and Robin chatted about random things as they walked to Kelly's. Nothing too important but enough to keep the conversation going and off of Patrick. Brenda and Robin arrived at Kelly's and both ordered salads for lunch. The chit chat had stopped and Brenda thought now was the time to ask about Jason and Elizabeth.

"I met your friend, Elizabeth, today. She seems nice."

"Where did you see her? I haven't spoken to her in a week. I have been trying to call her but I think she is ignoring my calls. I know she doesn't want to talk about it but I am so worried about her."

"Really? Jason seemed to be able to talk to her about it. At least I assume they were talking about Nikolas' baby. She was crying when I first saw them at the park."

"Jason? You saw her and Jason talking? Were the boys with her?" Robin spoke in shock.

"Yes. He was hugging her when I introduced myself to the boys. They were laughing and playing and I wandered over to the boys to see what was so fun. Jason and Elizabeth didn't notice me until a few seconds later. Why? You make it sound like a big deal." Bingo, Brenda thought. There is a story and Robin knows I can tell.

"Oh, no, none at all. Where's our food? I'm starving."

"Robin, you are hiding something from me."

"Brenda, I am not hiding anything."

"Robin, I have known you long enough to know when you are hiding something and you are. So spill. There is something going on with Jason and Elizabeth. I could see it today but Jason wouldn't tell me anything. No big surprise there though. Jason doesn't seem himself and I want to know why. Most days I can't stand to be around him but I do consider him a friend and I need to know what happen to him. Spill!" Brenda said as their salads arrived.

Robin didn't know if she should tell Brenda about Jason and Elizabeth. It wasn't her story to tell but she had also seen the change in Jason since they had broken up and it worried her. Maybe Brenda's meddling could help.

"Alright, I will tell you but it needs to stay between us. Jason has worked hard to keep Elizabeth safe. Ok?"

"Ok. Safe, safe from what?"

"I'll tell you but it is a long story, with many twists and turns. It all started about 11 years ago, I think. I don't know all the details about their relationship back then. They became friends when Lucky was presumed dead in the fire. It was a back and forth for years. They both always assumed the other was better off or that someone else needed them more. They never put each other first so they never had a real relationship other than friendship." Robin spoke as she tried to take some bites from her salad.

"Keep going. I'm listening."

"Let me eat a bite. Anyway, there was a black out a little over four years ago. At that time Elizabeth was married to Lucky and Jason was kind of sorta with Sam. That night Elizabeth found Lucky with Maxie Jones and Jason found Sam with Ric Lansing. They were both distraught and spent the night together. They both went back to their lives but, and this is the part that needs to stay quiet, Elizabeth found out she was pregnant."

"Oh my god. The little boy. He is Jason's. I knew there was something about him."

"Ssshh. Yes, he is but by all legal rights Lucky is his father."

"Why? Jason loves kids."

"I know. But I think he loves his job more. To keep Jake safe they all agreed to say Lucky was the father. There were a few times that Jason was going to step up but something would happen and he wouldn't. Jason and Elizabeth met in secret for months until Jake was kidnapped by the Russians. After that he swore his life would never touch Elizabeth, Jake, or Cameron again. And it hasn't. Jason hasn't really spoken to them in almost two years. And I know it kills Elizabeth everyday. I saw her after the breakup and even though she tries to hide it a little bit of her dies every time she sees him with Sam. I can't believe after all she did he went back to her."

"Wait, what? What did Sam do?"

"Oh, Brenda, you have been gone way too long." Robin said laughing.

"Why?"

"This town will forget all that Carly and Sam even Lucky will do but one slip up from Elizabeth and she can never recover. Sam terrorized Elizabeth because Jason loved Elizabeth and not her but the second Jason and Elizabeth broke up all Sam did to Elizabeth was forgotten and she was back in Jason's good graces. Sometimes I wonder if the breakup permanently damaged Jason. I don't know how he could forgive her."

"So you see it too?"

"What?"

"That Jason is not Jason?"

"Yea, I have seen it, but everyone ignores it because this Jason is at everyone's beckon call and does nothing for himself. The Jason I know would never walk away from his son and not look back. There is something wrong."

"So what are we going to do about it?"

"No, Brenda. We need to stay out of it. You know how Jason is and he does not like people to meddle in his life. Even though Carly does it on a daily basis."

"I'm not going to meddle. I am just going to help him see what he is missing and help Elizabeth. She seemed so broken today. I know she just lost a baby she thought was hers but when she looked at Jason I could see her heart breaking and in a different way than losing a child. I have felt that, you have felt that. We need to help them. Feel like taking a ride?"

"I'm scared to ask where."

"To see Elizabeth. Before we can help her and Jason, we need to help her grieve over Aiden."

"I've tried, Brenda. She doesn't want to talk about it."

"But you are telling her it will be alright. For her it won't be. She needs to have someone let her scream and yell and cry and tell her it's ok to do that. I think that is what Jason was doing for her today. And that is what we are going to do now. Let's go."

Brenda pulled Robin up out of her seat and out of Kelly's with a mission to complete.

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_**Read and review. Your reviews keep me going and enthusiastic about the story.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thank you for all the reviews. They are wonderful and encouraging. I am looking forward to the next chapter and hope you like this chapter and look forward to the next as well.**_

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He's Not Yours  
Chapter 3

He's not yours. Those words echoed in Elizabeth's head as she exited the park and took one quick glance behind her to see Jason leaving with Brenda. Every time she watched him walk away, her heart screamed for him to come back but the words never came out of her mouth. And as Elizabeth left the park she realized another male in Port Charles was not hers. As she looked down she also realized she would concentrate on the two precious gifts holding her hands to get her through.

After Elizabeth and the boys arrived home, she made lunch for the three of them and laid the boys down for a nap. Elizabeth walked downstairs and sat on the couch and began to cry as she had done every time the boys were asleep for the last three weeks. Elizabeth stood from the couch and walked to the mantel. She fingered the photos that sat there until she came to the one of Emily. She picked it up and took it with her to the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"Emily, I need you so much right now. Sometimes I think that if you were still here then my life may not be such a mess. Jason and I may still have been together and have our little girl and…" Elizabeth paused fighting back tears. "You'd be here for Aiden. I don't know how this happened, Emily, but I am going to find out." Elizabeth reached for the phone and dialed a number she never thought she would dial. After the third ring Elizabeth spoke "Hi, this is Elizabeth. Yes. Listen, I need your help. Can you meet me tomorrow at the docks? Good, thank you. And no one can know about this, ok? Good. I will see you at noon tomorrow." Elizabeth hung up the phone and wondered if this would help her or make her feel worse. Elizabeth rose from her chair and began to walk to the stairs to wake the boys.

As Elizabeth came back down the stairs a little later, with the boys in tow, there was a knock at the door. Elizabeth sent the boys into the living room to play and opened the door to Brenda and Robin.

"Ummm…Hello." Elizabeth said a little confused to see Brenda Barrett at her home.

"Hi, Elizabeth. I know you have told me you weren't up to visitors but you are my friend I wanted to see you. Can we come in?"

"Yes, of course."

"You don't mind me being here, do you?" Brenda asked.

"No not at all. Can I get you anything?"

"No. We just came from Kelly's." Robin spoke. "Hey, guys. I've missed you. What are you playing with?" Robin sat down with the boys to play. Elizabeth thought this was a little unusual as Patrick was usually the one to play with the boys but she waved it off.

"Do you want to take a walk outside, Elizabeth?" Brenda asked.

"Sure. Robin, will you be ok with the boys?"

"Yea, we'll be fine. Go get some fresh air."

Brenda and Elizabeth walked out the back door into the brisk fall air. They circled the back yard a few times in silence before Elizabeth finally spoke.

"Brenda, why are you here? We don't even know each other."

"Honestly?"

"Yes, please. I need honesty in my life right now."

"When I saw you with Jason today, I was taken back in time. The good girl who is in love with the bad boy. I have loved Sonny most of my life and I have tried to move on. I have watched with other women and felt pain in my heart. I have loved other men but never like Sonny. I saw that today in you. I had heard about the baby and knew you were grieving in your own way for a child and I saw that pain but when you looked at Jason I saw something more. And the more my heart broke for you and I didn't even know you. And I honestly saw myself and wanted to help you. I have no idea what you are going through but I do know I want to help you scream through it as often as you need to. I know you are tired of people telling you that everything will be alright and I am not going to tell you that. You will most likely feel that pain in your heart forever but I want to help a good girl out." Brenda left out a little chuckle.

"Thank you, Brenda, but I can do this on my own."

"I'm sure you can, but what would it hurt to just let out a big scream to the world to let it know how angry you are. For everything that has went wrong and everything that has gone right. Try it, I bet it will help."

"Brenda, really, I don't need to scream."

"Try it. It's all I ask."

"Fine." Elizabeth took a big breath and screamed as loud and as long as she could. She screamed for Aiden, for Jason, for Emily, for the Elizabeth she once was, for the mom she wanted to be to her boys, for the answers she still needed and for the life she wanted. Elizabeth never realized she could scream so long and she never realized how much it really helped. Elizabeth finally stopped screaming and crumbled to the ground in tears. Brenda sat down beside her and hugged her tight.

"Sssshhhh." Brenda continued to whisper in Elizabeth's ear. When Elizabeth's sobs quieted Brenda spoke "How did that feel?"

"Really good. Thank you"

"Anytime."

"How did you know screaming would help?"

"I have screamed so many times, I can't even count them. But afterwards I knew I was stronger because I was still standing and even though I was hurting I would survive and continue on. And I didn't want to continue on in pain, so I felt like when I screamed I was screaming the pain away. Corny, huh?"

"No, it really makes sense. And I do feel better but I still need answers."

"I know and I believe you will get them."

"Really?"

"Yea. You seem like a person that doesn't give up."

"I wish I was like that but on this I won't give up."

"I didn't think you would. Do you mean you gave up on Jason?"

"Yea, sometimes I feel like if I would have fought harder he'd be here with me now and not at just some random moment in the park…and here I am telling you all this and you have no idea what I am talking about. I am sorry I didn't mean to drag you into my Jason drama."

"Don't be sorry. I already asked Robin about you two. But even if I hadn't asked Robin I knew there was a story. Jason wouldn't tell me so I asked Robin. But don't be mad at her for telling me."

"I'm not. I am tired of hiding one of the most important times of my life."

"So why hide it?"

"Because Jason thinks it will keep us safe. I have always believed in him but I don't believe in this. But maybe it was just an excuse to be able to run off on adventures at the drop of a hat, to reunite with Sam, to be with Michael, Carly, Sonny whenever they needed him. I don't know. I still love him but sometimes I wonder if he ever loved me but I convince myself he did because I don't want to live with the thought that he didn't."

"I can tell you that when Jason was with you today, I saw the real Jason and I haven't see that Jason since before we were married. There is something going on with him but he will never tell me." Brenda said with a giggle.

"I am sure he won't. But you do know you hold a special place with him?"

"Oh, I am sure there are some special places he'd like to send me." Brenda said laughing.

"I'm serious. He has kept your room the same since you left, so you always had a home to come back to if you needed it. No matter how bad you fight with him." Elizabeth said giggling. "Brenda, thank you so much for this. Being able to scream about Aiden and talk about Jason has helped me. I am far from healed but I do see a little light at the end of the tunnel."

"Elizabeth, anytime you need to scream or talk I am here."

"Thank you. I am not ready to talk about Aiden yet. I still have questions that need answered before I can even start to talk about it but I am glad that I have made a new friend that understands that."

"You are welcome. I am glad to be your friend. We better get inside. I bet your boys are waiting for you." Brenda and Elizabeth stood and headed into the house.

Robin and Brenda stayed at Elizabeth's for few more hours playing with the boys and helping Elizabeth out around the house. Elizabeth seemed to have a little more energy after her talk with Brenda and Robin was thankful that Brenda could help Elizabeth even if it was just a little bit.

Brenda and Robin headed their separate ways after leaving Elizabeth's; Robin walked home and Brenda headed to Jason's penthouse to get some sleep. When Brenda entered the penthouse, Jason was sitting on the couch.

"Hey, what are you doing here? You're not out saving the world"

"Not tonight. Why were you at Elizabeth's house this evening?"

"How did you know where I was?"

"Brenda, your guards work for me."

"Part of the deal with the guards, is that they would not tell you where I was unless I was putting myself in danger. As far as I can tell, Elizabeth is not putting me in danger. So the way I see it is, I need new guards who I can trust or you are keeping tabs on Elizabeth. Which one is it?"

"It is none of your business how I know where you are. I just want to know why you were there and I want to know now."

"Well that is none of your business." Brenda snapped as she walked up to steps to her room, half up she stopped and spoke again. "Shouldn't you be more concerned with what your girlfriend is doing and not the ex you left behind?" Brenda disappeared up the stairs, leaving a dumbfounded Jason just staring after her.

Brenda shut the door behind her as she entered her bedroom. "I told him I would find out." Brenda said with a mischievous smile.

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_**Read and Review. I appreciate every review. :)**_


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you for all the great reviews. They are wonderful and inspiring. I would have never continued this story without them. Here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. There will be some more J&E interaction, Brenda meddling coming up and as it always is with J&E lots of drama. :)

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_He's Not Yours  
Chapter 4_

Elizabeth woke the next day, feeling better than she had in the past few weeks but deep down she knew that screaming would numb the pain for a little while but only answers would start to heal her. Elizabeth woke the boys and fixed them breakfast all the while thinking of how she was going to approach the subject at their meeting today or even if she should trust them to help her.

"I will see what impression I get today." Elizabeth said out loud.

Elizabeth pulled up to Audrey's house to drop the boys off for the day. Elizabeth had been clinging to the boys since she found out about Aiden and knew that her Grams needed time with them. And today was the perfect time for that. She knew that Grams had lost a grandchild too and needed to be reminded that she had two grandchildren that loved her.

"Grams, we're here!" Elizabeth said as Audrey made her way down the steps. The boys ran to her as soon as they saw her take the last step.

"GRAMS!" Cam and Jake yelled in unison.

"My dear boys. I have missed you so much."

"Mommy said we get to spend all day with you and it will make you very happy. Are you sad that Aiden is not with us like mommy?" Cam questioned only like a child could.

"I am sad, Cam, but seeing you and Jake and your mommy too makes me very happy. Now why don't you take a look in the kitchen to see what I baked for my boys?"

The boys took off towards the kitchen and Audrey walked over and enveloped Elizabeth in a hug.

"Dear, take your coat off and sit."

"I can't, Grams, I am going to run some errands today."

"What my dear? You will not be joining us?"

"No, it is just the boys today."

"Elizabeth…"

"Grams, I am doing better. Each day is still a struggle but I will start to heal. Please don't worry about me. Just take care of the boys, please."

"If you say so but I am not so sure. I have seen you Elizabeth and you have not been yourself in a long time. I don't know what happened but you lost your spirit somewhere, long before Aiden. And when you are ready to tell me about it I will be here to listen."

"I know you will be, Grams, but I also know you do not want to hear the reasoning behind the change in me. I love you very much and I know you have only wanted the best for me but the one thing I wanted you never wanted for me."

"Elizabeth, dear, what do you mean?"

"Now is not the time, but I do believe we will need to talk about it some day. I need to get going. I will be back around five to get the boys. Have fun today." Elizabeth smiled and hugged her Grams before walking out the door.

Audrey thought about the little bit of conversation she had with Elizabeth and started to wonder what she never gave her granddaughter that meant so much to her. "Elizabeth, my dear, whatever it is that I didn't give you I will make sure to give it to you now. I need to see your spirit again." Audrey spoke to herself as she walked into the kitchen to begin her big day with her two grandsons.

Elizabeth sat in her car for a few minutes before heading to the docks. She needed some time to herself to get her thoughts together. She knew she needed to be truthful with her grandmother but she didn't know how to do that without being ridiculed by her grandmother for her choices. "How do I tell her I have been lying to her for years? How do I tell her I have always loved Jason Morgan, a man she hates? How do I tell myself it will never be, again?" A lone tear slid down Elizabeth's cheek as she said the last question out loud. Elizabeth wiped the tear from her face and looked in the mirror. "Be strong, Elizabeth. Get it together. First you need to find answers for Aiden and then you can start on Jason." Elizabeth straightened herself and headed towards the docks for her meeting.

Elizabeth headed towards the docks worried that he may have already left because she was running late after her little melt down in the car. "Please still be there. I need your help and you are the only one I can think of that can get the information I need." Elizabeth thought to herself as she headed down the steps. Sure enough he had waited.

"Spinelli. I am sorry I am late." Elizabeth spoke before Spinelli even realized she was behind him.

"That is quite alright, the maternal one. The grasshopper found solace in the movement of the water. What is it that you need the grasshopper's assistance with?"

Elizabeth sat on the bench beside Spinelli wondering how she should explain but she figured it was best to be direct with him, he probably knew most of the story anyway.

"What I am about to ask of you has to stay between us. No one else can know, not Sam, not Maxie, not Brenda and especially not Jason. Everyone must think that I am healing and I am not holding on to the pain, which I am not I just answers. Can you do that Spinelli? If not, I will search for someone else. I know that Jason has always relied on you to find answers for him and I thought you could do the same for me."

"I am not sure what you need from me but I can offer the utmost discretion to you."

"Thank you. I am sure you have heard about Aiden."

"I have and the grasshopper offers his sincerest condolences to you."

"Please, no." Elizabeth put her hand up to stop him from offering any more condolences. She did not need that right now.

"So what does the maternal one need from me?"

"Answers. I need to know why Helena did this. She has a reason for everything and I know she had a reason for this and I need to know why. I need you to find her, discreetly. The first minute she knows someone is looking for her she will run. Can you help me?"

"The grasshopper can find the wicked witch with no problem, but what do I do once I find her?"

"Contact me. I will be paying the wicked witch a special visit."

"Do you think that is safe, maternal one?"

"Probably not but I will think about that when the time comes."

Spinelli watched Elizabeth with a puzzled look. He did not know whether he should tell his master or not. He knew when he came to the maternal one he would pull out all the stops but she did not know that and as far as Spinelli knew he was the only one that knew how far Stone Cold had gone to protect them.

"I am in, fair Elizabeth. But why must Stone Cold not know about this? He would most definitely use his stone cold powers to help."

Elizabeth smiled at the thought of Jason taking on Helena. "Spinelli, Jason has moved on and the last thing I want is for him to be dragged into this."

"I am sure Stone Cold would not see it that way. You may have agreed to no contact but I believe if he were in trouble you would be there for him."

"That is true but he wouldn't ask and I will not ask. I am trusting you will not either?"

"If that is what you want. I will get started right away."

"And Spinelli, Sam cannot see you work on this. I know she is your friend but she is also a Cassadine and they stick together. As the reason, I am not asking Nikolas for help."

"Understood, maternal one." Spinelli grabbed his laptop case and took off as Elizabeth sat there looking out at the water.

Jason was approaching the docks when he saw Spinelli scurry in the opposite direction. He tried to reach him but Spinelli was too fast and had gotten away. As Jason turned around to head back up the steps he saw Elizabeth sitting on the bench. His breath caught in his throat as it did every time he saw her. He noticed the somber look on her face as she looked out at the water and he wondered if he should say anything to her at all but he didn't have to as she turned and saw him staring at her.

"Wow, this must be a record."

"What's that?"

"I have barely seen you in almost two years and now I have seen you twice in two days." Elizabeth chuckled as she spoke.

Jason smirked at her remark. "Yeah, I guess it is. Anything excited happening on the water today?"

"No not really. Boats in and out like every day."

"You seem to be doing better today?"

"Yes, I think I am. I had a visitor last night and she helped me work through some things. I will never be better but I may move on."

"That's good. Who was your visitor?" Jason asked trying to get information out of Elizabeth that Brenda wouldn't give him.

"Brenda."

"I didn't know you and Brenda were friends."

"We weren't. She came to visit with Robin and we just started talking."

"Oh."

"But you already knew that Brenda was the visitor?"

"What?"

"Jason, you can lie to the best of them but I know you better than that and I can tell when you are interrogating someone and the tricks you use." Elizabeth said with a smile.

"I sometimes forget that you know me better than I know myself."

"I better get going. I have errands to run and then I have to get the boys from Grams. It was nice seeing you again, Jason." Elizabeth spoke as she stood from the bench.

"Yea, it was. We should do it again, sometime." The words came out before Jason even realized what he was saying.

"But if we did that someone may see us together and I wouldn't want to break the rules we agreed upon."

"Elizabeth…"

"I'm sorry, that was harsh. I will see you around." Elizabeth took off up the steps before her emotions got the best of her. She knew she shouldn't have said it like that but she didn't know what else to say. It had been two years and he still made her heart flutter and there was nothing she could do about it. They agreed upon no contact for the safety of the boys but now he says they she see each other again. As much as she wanted leap into his arms and say anytime, anyplace she knew that they couldn't. What was she supposed to do if they became friends again? How was she supposed to move on? Being his friend is not what she wanted. She wanted all of him and she couldn't have that. Not now; he had moved on.

Elizabeth took off up the steps before Jason could say anything to her. What has he supposed to say? Elizabeth, I am sorry. The stupidest thing I ever did was let you go. I have been torturing myself ever since. How was he supposed to tell her his life stopped the day he left her at the courthouse and he has been living in a fog ever since? How could she ever forgive him for the way he has acted the past two years? Did she even still love him?

Jason headed in the opposite direction that Elizabeth have left in hoping the long walk to his bike would help him clear his mind. His mind had been so clouded the last few months that he never really got the chance to think clearly, but just speaking with Elizabeth for a few minutes had helped the fog lift a little bit and he was starting to feel some type of burden being lifted from his shoulders. As Jason left the docks he never saw the figure that was watching him from the shadows take off.

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_**Read & Review. And Thank you!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**_I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update. I kind of hit a road block and then I couldn't stop writing this chapter. LOL. Please let me know what you think Thank you for your continued support. On to the chapter._**

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Chapter 5

Jason walked into the penthouse feeling a little bit clearer than he had in months. The walk to his bike had given him the chance to think and to not be interrupted by Sam, Spinelli, Sonny, Carly or Brenda and all their drama.

Spinelli was working on his computer when Jason walked in.

"Spinelli, hey. I didn't expect to see you here."

"Stone Cold, I am sorry to intrude on your humble abode. I did not think you would be home so soon. The Grasshopper just needed a quiet place to work."

"Don't you have an office for that?"

"Yes, yes but I cannot work on this assignment around the Fair Samantha."

"Why not? I thought that was the reason for your partnership."

"It was a request of the Ma…of my client. I am the only one to know of the Grasshopper's most important assignment."

"Oh. Has there been any movement with the Balkan?

"No, all is quiet." Spinelli spoke still hard at work on his computer.

"Where's Brenda?" Jason asked.

"The Divine One was leaving when the Grasshopper arrived. She said she had errands to run and then would be spending the evening with a friend. She took her protectors of the night with her."

"Great. Thanks! Since you are here, can you take a break for a minute?"

"Yes, Stone Cold. Do you need the Grasshopper's cyber skills?"

"Sort of. Can you bring it up?"

"What do…Oh. Yes, I can." Spinelli hit a few keys on his computer and brought up surveillance camera footage from outside Elizabeth's home.

"Thank you."

"Yes, Stone Cold." Spinelli picked up his glass and headed towards the kitchen. "The Grasshopper needs a refill."

Jason sat at Spinelli's laptop watching Elizabeth move by the window in the living room as the boys sat on the floor playing with their motorcycles. Seeing his boys playing with motorcycles always made him smile. Jason had the surveillance camera installed right after their final breakup. Even though he agreed never to see his family again, he needed that reassurance that they were ok. Elizabeth would hate him if she knew but he didn't care he needed that reassurance. Spinelli was the only one that knew and a part of him felt that was one person too many. As unpredictable as Spinelli's feelings were, he was surprised that Spinelli had been trustworthy in this matter and for that he was grateful. Jason watched the footage until he saw Elizabeth and the boys walk up the stairs for the boys to take their nap.

Spinelli had been standing at the kitchen waiting for the signal that Stone Cold was finished before he walked out. When he saw Stone Cold shut the laptop he knew he was done and preceded into the living room.

"How are they doing?" Spinelli asked never quite sure how to talk to Stone Cold about the Maternal One. Spinelli knew that he would only be able to talk to Stone Cold for a few minutes before he would retreat back into himself.

"Good." Jason got up from the couch and headed towards the door. "I'm heading out. You have not seen me."

"I understand, Stone Cold." Spinelli said as his master disappeared out the door.

Spinelli often wondered what was going through Stone Cold's mind. The last few years he seemed different; lost and unpredictable. Spinelli knew that Stone Cold had taken the separation from Elizabeth and the boys hard. That is why he had assumed Stone had the Grasshopper install the camera. Then when Stone Cold reunited with the Fair Samantha, the Grasshopper was confused but really thought that Stone Cold had found his real match for the mob life. Not long after they reunited Stone Cold seemed to be a different person, one that the Grasshopper did not recognize. Stone Cold seemed to forget about the Maternal One and their Prodigy. Today, was the first day since Stone Cold and the Fair Samantha reunited that Stone Cold had asked to see the surveillance footage. And that had the Grasshopper worried, not for the Fair Samantha but for the Maternal One.

Elizabeth left the dock after meeting with Spinelli and her minor confrontation with Jason. She had planned on speaking with her Grandmother about Jason but she was worn out and just picked up the boys and headed home against her Grandmother's wishes. She had promised to come back in a few days and talk to her. As soon as they arrived home, the boys shrugged off their jackets and pulled out the motorcycles and started racing them across the floor. It always made Elizabeth smile to think that Jason was impacting her boys' lives even when he wasn't around. While her boys were playing she busied herself around the house trying to keep her mind off of Jason, Aiden, her Grandmother, Nikolas, Lucky and pretty much the entire town of Port Charles. After about an hour of playing, Elizabeth took her two boys upstairs for their naps. Jake was having difficulties napping, as he had been since Elizabeth had found out about Aiden, so Elizabeth lay with Jake and they both fell asleep.

A few hours later Elizabeth was awoke by her two little boys jumping up and down on the bed. As Elizabeth headed down the stairs with the boys in tow there was a knock at the door. The boys ran to the living room to continue playing where they left off. Elizabeth opened the door to see Brenda standing there again.

"Brenda, I didn't expect to see you back so soon."

"Why not? I am your new best friend." Brenda said with a laugh.

"I know you helped me last night but I don't know if I am up for it today. I am tired, new best friend." Elizabeth spoke with a little chuckle.

"Well that is good because I am not up to it either. Now are you going to make me stand on your porch all night?"

"No, of course not. Come in." Elizabeth waved her and Brenda headed straight for the boys.

"Hey, boys. I have something for you." Brenda pulled two boxes out of her bag and handed to the boys.

"Motorcycles!" Cam shouted.

"Motocyles!" Jake shouted just like his big brother.

"Even better. They are remote control motorcycles. You can control them with the remotes and race them." Brenda explained.

"Awesome!" both boys yelled.

"Can we play with them now, mommy?"

"Yes, but give me one second with Brenda. Ok?"

"Ok"

Elizabeth pulled Brenda to the side to talk to her.

"Brenda I appreciate the thought but you didn't need to buy the boys anything."

"I know. They are for me too. I bought a pink one for me to race with them while their mommy is relaxing."

"What?"

Brenda pulled a tablet of paper and pen out of her bag and handed to Elizabeth.

"You are going to take this paper and pen and go upstairs, draw a bath, relax a little bit and then you are going to write a list."

"A list?"

"A list of regrets, a list of accomplishments, a list of things you want to do, and a list of things you need to say to people."

"Why?"

"I have found when you write down your regrets, you let the pain that goes with them out and then you think of the things you need to say to people. You always regret what you never did or said. After you have listed your regrets and the things you need to say, you will need the accomplishments and little rewards of things you want to do to cheer you up. And when you are writing those rewards remember all the bad things you have been through in your life and say to yourself…you deserve this."

"Brenda, I don't…"

"It will. Remember, I know. Now get upstairs; the boys and I have a race to begin." Brenda took off towards the boys before Elizabeth could even object, so she headed upstairs. Elizabeth grabbed a towel, headed towards the tub and started the water. While the water was warming up, she decided to start writing her list.

_Regrets_

_Lying to myself all those years ago about my feelings for Jason_

_Believing Lucky was the Lucky she fell in love with at 15_

_Being a model_

_Not going to Italy when I had the chance_

_Always putting Lucky first_

_Leaving Jason at the Penthouse_

_Marrying Ric the second time._

_Lying about Jake and keeping it hidden from the Quartermaines_

_Listening to Sam and Lucky over Jason_

_Letting Jason walk away, again_

_Giving up art over and over again_

_Agreeing to marry Lucky, again_

_Sleeping with Nikolas. (I'm so sorry, Emily)_

_Not being there for Robin when she needs me_

_Not being Aiden's mom_

_Not being Jason's wife_

_Not moving on_

Elizabeth put down her paper and pen and turned off the water. She undressed and got in the tub. She read the list over and over again. And cried. This was her life and she regretted a lot and needed to make peace with that. Elizabeth started her next list.

_People to Talk to_

_Helena_

_Lucky_

_Nikolas_

_Emily_

_Grams_

_The Quartermaines_

_Ric_

_Laura_

_Sonny_

_Robin_

_Sam_

_Jason_

Elizabeth thought about the people she needed to speak to about her regrets and wondered if some of the people would even talk to her. She needed to at least try. According to Brenda, it will be worth it in the end.

_My Accomplishments_

_My Boys_

_My Rewards_

_Watching her boys play and live life_

_Return to Painting_

_Go to Italy, regardless_

_Being loved, regardless_

Elizabeth tried to think of more accomplishments and more rewards but she couldn't. Her boys were the thing that made her smile. And Elizabeth never wanted for anything, she was not materialistic. She found joy in little things, there was only one thing that she wanted that required money and that was Italy. Elizabeth sat in the tub thinking for a few more minutes before there was a knock at the door.

"Elizabeth, did you drown?"

"No. I am just getting out."

"Ok. We were going to make some popcorn at watch a movie. You up for that?"

"Yea, I will be down in a minute"

"Ok. Don't forget your lists."

"Why?"

"You will need someone to keep you on task."

"Uh…"

"Don't worry your secrets will be safe with me."

"Thank you again, Brenda."

"No problem. Now hurry up before the popcorn is gone."

"Be down in a minute."

Brenda headed back downstairs and Elizabeth got out of the tub, dried off and got dressed. Grabbing her list before she headed downstairs, Elizabeth hoped that Brenda would understand her decision to find Helena. As Elizabeth came down the stairs, she saw her boys laying on the floor eating popcorn out of a big bowl and watching a movie and Brenda was sitting on the couch with a bowl of her own flipping through a magazine.

"There she is. How was the bath?"

"Enlightening."

"Well that is good. How did the lists come?"

"Good. Would you like to see them?" Elizabeth asked nervously.

"Of course. They were my idea."

Elizabeth laughed and handed over the lists. Brenda grabbed them like a school girl grabbing a love note from her crush.

"I am glad you are so excited about my despair."

"Not excited. Anxious to help."

"Why?"

"Because I know you. I have been where you are in some ways. I have seen you, Elizabeth. You are a good person, a wonderful mother with a caring heart and an even bigger forgiving heart."

"How do you know that? You've only known me for two days."

"I know Robin and I know she will tell me the truth and those are the exact words she speaks of you."

"Robin is one of my regrets."

"What? Why?"

"I haven't been the best friend to her. Maybe you should read the lists."

Brenda looked down at the list and started reading. A few minutes later she looked up.

"Are you ready to face some of these?"

"All of them."

"Ok, let's get started my friend."

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**_Please read and review. And if you think something needs added lists let me know. Thanks for the read. :)_**


	6. Chapter 6

_I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update. Been so busy with the holidays. I am hoping to get a couple updates up before I head back to work and school. Hope you enjoy this update and the ones to come. Hope everyone has a Happy New Year. On to the story. _

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Chapter 6

"So where do you want to start?" Brenda asked. Brenda really wanted to help Elizabeth but a part of her thought that this would help Jason too. And as long as she was concentrating on Elizabeth, Sonny was not on her thoughts. He had been far from them since she saw Jason and Elizabeth together. She owed it to Jason to help him. He was always there to help her, even though he claims to hate her. She knew deep down it was like a brother/sister relationship and she was thankful for that. And it was easy to want to help Elizabeth. Even though she had only known Elizabeth for a few days she knew that she had found a friend forever. Brenda was thankful for that as well.

"With Robin. I am grateful for your support the past few days but I think I will need hers too. Especially when some things come out."

"Don't worry about your boys. I have my body guards and I will be with them, so they will be safe. Jason only hires the best." Brenda said with a little chuckle.

"Thank you. You never said why you needed bodyguards."

"It's a long story. I have just made many wrong choices since leaving Port Charles. Trying to hide how I really feel and it just turned into one lie after another and eventually they became dangerous ones."

"I understand and that is what scares me too."

"You do know that Jason would do anything to protect you and the boys."

"He already did; he left us. I don't know if that made it better or worse. Sometimes I blame him for how my life has turned out but I know I am to blame too. I let him walk away. I was too shocked to say anything else and I was tired of being the only one fighting for us. I just wanted him to fight once for our family." Elizabeth stole a glance at the boys who were still watching their movie with empty popcorn bowls sitting next to them to calm her emotions before she spoke again. "But my confrontation with Jason will take place and he will hear my thoughts; tonight I need to talk to Robin."

"Well let's call her then." Brenda pulled out her phone and dialed her number. Elizabeth could hear Brenda speaking to Robin but she concentrated on what she would say to her. She needed all of her friends on her side to start this and she wondered how Robin would handle it when Elizabeth would tell her that she would need Patrick too. He had been a good friend to her and she wanted to be a good friend to both of them as well.

"Elizabeth. Elizabeth"

"Hmm. Huh?"

"She's on her way. You ok?"

"Yea, just lost in thought."

"I know Robin was on your list and you wanted to get this over first, but it is your first confrontation. You alright?"

"Yea. I need to be a friend to Robin just as much as she has been and will be a friend to me. But Brenda, Patrick is my friend too. I know what he did to Robin was awful, but he is my friend too. How do you feel about him?"

"I hate what he did to Robin, especially since I know she still loves him. And honestly I believe he still loves her. I don't condone what he did and I don't think Robin should forgive him right now but I believe that she will in time and they will get through it."

"I believe that too."

"You are not trying to push them back together, are you?"

"No. It is too soon for that. I will just need them both and I hope that I can be there for both of them too. I just want them to understand that."

Elizabeth and Brenda both jumped as they heard a knock on the door. Brenda got up to answer the door and said "I think they will."

Before Brenda opened the door, Elizabeth asked "Hey, Brenda. How did your list go?"

Brenda looked at her a little saddened by the question, "I'll have to let you know. There were some confrontations that I have never gotten to."

"Why?"

"There are some things I am not ready to face."

"If I have to do this you are going to have to face your list too."

"One miracle at a time." Brenda teased as she opened the door for Robin.

"Hey, Brenda. What's going on? You sounded so urgent on the phone." Elizabeth stood from the couch as Robin walked in.

"She called for me. I needed to talk to you."

"Is everything ok?"

"Yes and no. Do you want to go into the kitchen?" At Robin's nod, Elizabeth turned to Brenda, "Do you mind keeping an eye on the boys?"

"No, they seem pretty enthralled in the movie so I am sure they will not be any trouble."

"Thank you." Elizabeth and Robin headed into the kitchen.

Robin sat down at the kitchen table as Elizabeth headed to the refrigerator.

"Would you like anything to drink?"

"No, I'm fine. Elizabeth what's going on?"

Elizabeth sat down at the table and tried to speak. "I don't know where to start. I thought speaking to you would be the easiest on my list because you have been a great friend to me the last few years but that maybe making it harder."  
"Elizabeth, you are not making much sense."

"Let me start from the beginning. Brenda came over this evening and wanted me to write some lists. One with all of my regrets, one with my accomplishments and one with the people I wanted to confront. You were on my list. I regret that I have been a horrible friend to you the last few months. I was drowning so deep in my own problems I never even stopped to see the pain that was going on with you. You were there for me when I needed to talk about Jason and I was never there for you when you needed someone to talk to about Patrick. I am sorry. I should have put my own pain aside to see the pain you have been in and to listen to you. I am so sorry I have not been a better friend to you. You deserve that."

Robin took Elizabeth's hand as she spoke. "Don't be. I know the pain you have been in because of Jason and because of Aiden. I understand. You have been a friend to me. You took care of Emma when I was sick and you took care of Patrick during that time. You helped with an intervention for me, even when you were still reeling from your breakup with Jason. There is nothing to be sorry for. You have been taking care of your boys and trying to regain your life. I would have been upset if you would have been with me constantly and not the boys. That would have meant you were not facing your own pain. You've been through a great deal in the past few years and during that time you have been an amazing friend to me regardless. I thought I had let you down when you wouldn't talk to me about Aiden. But after talking to Brenda I know that you were just clinging to the two boys you have. But I do have to be honest with you. I was jealous that you talk to Brenda last night and not me."

Both Brenda and Elizabeth laughed.

"She has a way of pulling things out of you, doesn't she?"

"Yea, I think that is why Jason doesn't like being around her." Robin laughed again. "But seriously. I never thought there were any problems in our friendship. Sometimes it is better to work things out on your own, which is how I am trying to handle what Patrick did. I know I have the support of my friends if and when I need it. I appreciate your apology but really there is no need for one."

"Thank you, Robin. I will try to be a better friend from here on out." Elizabeth said as the two women hugged.

"Now you know I was the easy one. I'm sure the next person won't be as easy."

"I'm sure they won't be, but if I want to stand on my own two feet and be a better mother to Cam and Jake I need to do this. I just didn't know that until about two hours ago when Brenda came by." Elizabeth laughed again.

"So who's next?"

"I'm not sure. There are some I do not know how I could ever confront."

"You know you will never move forward if he doesn't know what he has done to you."

"I know, but how do I say goodbye to him when I am still in love with him?"

"How do you know he is not still in love with you? You have seen his life the last few years as well. Doesn't it look like he has been spiraling out of control too?"

"I don't know. I just assumed he was where he always wanted to be and me and the boys were just an inconvenience."

"I don't believe that. I think he is an idiot for what he has done but I don't believe for a second that Jason Morgan has forgotten you or the boys."

"I wish I could be so certain. And since I am not you can bet that he is not next on my list." Elizabeth tried to laugh it off before she started to cry. She felt that her heart would always be held by Jason whether he wanted it or not. "I need to talk to you about something else."

"What's that?"

"I wanted to start with you first because I wanted you by my side for support when I started these confrontations, as well as other steps I will need to take. All of my friends, really. And so I can be there for you, to help you with a list if you ever need to write one. I know Brenda will be there and you and…Patrick. He has been a friend to me as well and I will need a lot of support if I am going to do this. I will need my friends to face the truths that I have never faced and to comfort me when I do face them. Will you be ok with Patrick around? I don't want either of you to be uncomfortable. I know this is asking a lot and I will understand if you say no."

"It's ok. I can't say that we will be comfortable around each other but I will do my best for you."

"Thank you. And I want to be there for you when something happens. I need to be a better friend to you because you are being a wonderful friend to me right now. And you never know what the next steps will be in life."

"Thank you."

Elizabeth and Robin hugged and Elizabeth felt a little bit of relief, but was still worried about her future confrontations and how she would feel after them. Not all of her confrontations would end like Robin's. She knew she would upset some people and send some on a war path but all she had to look out for her own well being. For too many years she let everyone else make her decisions for her and she was not going to let that happen anymore. She was going to take back her life and she was going to get the answers she needed from Helena, Jason, Sam, Lucky, and many more.

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_**So who should be next? I have many different scenarios in mind and some adventure mixed in. Let me know what you think. Thanks!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_Just a quick chapter. Let me know what you think. I have sooo many ideas and trying to incorporate them all as tastefully as I can. Happy New Year's to everyone!__

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Chapter 7

Jason looked around the small safe house for answers that he knew he wouldn't find. He had been there a few times after their break up, but this was the first time since he had gotten back from Mexico. He didn't know what was going on with him but he knew something had to have happened in Mexico but he was starting to feel like himself again and he was going to make some changes. The last few days the fog had lifted from his head and there were things that he was remembering that he seemed to have forgotten but he didn't know how he could have forgotten them. How could he have forgotten about Elizabeth, Cam and Jake? How could he have forgotten what Sam and even Lucky did to his family? He knew there was no way that Elizabeth would ever forgive him but he would make sure she knew he loved her and he has always wanted her and the boys to be safe and happy. If she didn't know that then he didn't know what he would do. He also needed to talk Sam, something happened in Mexico and he needed to know what. The last few days without her around had been eye opening and peaceful. He couldn't think of the last time Sam had not been around him. Seemed like everywhere he turned there she was. He was concerned where she had been but was thankful it was not near him. How could he have been with someone for so long that he didn't even want to be around? Jason looked around the safe house one more time and remembered the times he had spent with Elizabeth; the love and hope they shared. Jason looked up to the sky as he walked out the door.

"I was never good enough for her, Emily. She deserved so much more from me. I had the best thing in my life and I pushed her and my children away. I never fought for her once. Maybe I do deserve the life I have but I don't want it. My head is clearer now and I promise Emily I will make this right somehow."

Jason stepped off the porch and headed to his bike determined to find the answers he needed.

As Robin and Brenda played with the boys in the living room, Elizabeth walked out on the front porch to make a call.

"Patrick?"

"Elizabeth, is something wrong?"

"No, not really. I know you have Emma but I was wondering if you could bring her over to the house. I need to talk to you."

"Sure. I will be over in a few minutes."

"Thank you, Patrick. See you soon." Elizabeth hung up the phone determined that this would help her friends as well. Patrick was not on her list but she still needed to talk to him about what happened with him and Robin. She didn't want to but in because it was their business but she wanted to let Patrick no how big of an idiot he was but regardless they were both her friends and she needed them as much as she hoped they needed her. A few minutes after speaking with him on the phone, Elizabeth saw Patrick walking with Emma up the driveway.

"Hi, Patrick. Hi Emma."

"Hi Elizabeth. Emma say hi to Elizabeth." Patrick spoke as we walked up onto the porch.

"Hi, Lizbit." Elizabeth and Patrick chuckled as Emma tried to say Elizabeth's name.

"Do you want to go inside and play with Cam and Jake? Mommy and Aunt Brenda are inside?"

"What? Elizabeth I don't know if me being here is a good idea then." Patrick spoke nervously.

"It's ok. We are going to stay on the porch. I'll take Emma in."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Elizabeth spoke as she took Emma from Patrick and disappeared through the door. Patrick tried to peek through the door to see Robin but knew she did not want to see him and he understood why and hated himself for that.

"Ok. Emma was so excited to see Jake. I think we may have to watch them in a few years." Elizabeth laughed but Patrick just had a worried look on his face which made Elizabeth laugh even more.

"It is good to hear you laugh again even if it is at my expense."

"It is good to laugh again. Do you want to sit down?" Elizabeth and Patrick sat down on the porch swing.

"So what did you need to talk to me about?"

"Well first of all I want to tell you how big of an idiot you are but I have a feeling you already know that and are feeling it times ten. Patrick, you are one of my closest friends and you never judged me through everything with Lucky and Nikolas. I am sure you thought I was an idiot too. But you were just there for me and I want you to know that I am here for you as I am for Robin. I believe you will both get through this but it will be a long road. Don't push Robin. She loves you but her heart has been broken and her trust destroyed. I know Lisa is not helping the matter but you need to put her in her place and Robin needs to see it. She needs to know that what happened with you and Lisa is over and will never happen again. Robin cannot move forward with you in any way until she knows the reason you are part is out of your personal life. I don't mean to butt in; I actually think I said more than I should have. But I want you both to be happy and I believe in time it will be with each other and if not then so be it."

"Elizabeth, thank you. You have not said too much. I have actually wanted to talk to you for a while but knew you had too much on your plate. You are a great friend. I won't push Robin but I want her to know I love her and I know how big of a mistake I made."

"She knows and that is what makes it even harder for her; that you love her and still slept with Lisa."

"I'm such an idiot."

"I know."

"How could have thrown everything away? For what? A glimpse at my bachelor days when I didn't have anything to live for. Now that I have everything to live for I have thrown them away. I can understand if Robin never forgives me but I am holding on to the hope she does."

"Give it time, Patrick. You never know what tomorrow will bring but you have a little girl that needs you both now."

"I know and I will do everything to make it up to Emma too. Thank you."

They sat on the swing silence as Patrick thought about where his life was a year ago and where it was now. After a few minutes, Patrick spoke again.

"Was there something else you needed to talk to me about it?"

"Yes. I met Brenda a few days ago and since then she has made it a point to help me, which I am very grateful for. She has helped me come to terms with some things and try to face things in my life. As I am about to do this, I wanted my closest friends by my side. I want you and Robin to be there with me. I have already spoken to Robin about this. I told her that I would need you with me too because you are one of my closest friends. She said she would ok with you being around. Now I am asking you the same question. Will you be ok being around Robin?"

"Of course. I just don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me. I will be here to support you through anything but I don't want to put Robin through anymore pain."

"I know and I understand that. I know you will support me and I don't want to cause any pain for Robin either. And if you can't be around I understand that."

"I will be around but if it upsets Robin, I will leave. Deal?"

"Deal."

"But maybe in some ways this will help us. At least I can hope."

"Maybe. Do you want to come in and see everyone?"

"Sure."

"Thank you, Patrick. I appreciate this more than you know."

"And I appreciate this too. Now what big things do we have to face?"

"Let's go inside and I will tell you all at once."

Patrick got up and opened the door for Elizabeth as they both walked into the house. Robin was the first to notice Patrick walk in and felt the butterflies in her stomach flutter. She didn't know what the future held for them but she knew that she still loved him and hoped that with time some how they would get through this, for better or worse.

"Hey, boys. Look who I found."

"Uncle Patrick!" The boys screamed as they ran to hug Patrick with Emma following behind yelling "Daddy!"

"Hey guys." Patrick said as he knelt down to hug the boys and his little girl. "Have you been racing cars?"

"Yea, do you want to play?"

"I'd love to." Patrick said as he looked over Cam's shoulder to Robin who gave him a reassuring nod."

"Come on." The boys said as they tugged on Patrick's arm.

"Boys, before you pull Patrick away, can mommy talk to him, Robin and Brenda first?"

Cam spoke. "Yes but hurry I don't know how long Uncle Patrick can play. Brenda said he was in trouble and being punished." The adults all looked at Brenda.

"What? It's the truth." Brenda said innocently.

"I'll be quick, so Uncle Patrick can play."

"Thank you, mommy." Cam said as the kids ran off to play and the adults headed to the kitchen.

Everyone sat down around the table as Elizabeth began to speak.

"As you know, I have a list of people I am going to talk to and I will in time but I need you guys to know something I started even before this. I am looking for Helena with Spinelli's help. I know how dangerous she is but I need answers from her. I know you all think I am crazy for doing this but I need to do this. I need to know why. I can't go any further in my life until I know why she chose to rip a child out of my hands the way she did."

"Elizabeth, this is not what I meant when I said confronting people. Helena is a dangerous woman. She could hurt you or the boys."

"Brenda, I had this set in my mind before I even met you the other day. I need to know. There is something wrong with this whole scenario. Helena wouldn't do this to just hurt me. Or even to give Nikolas Emily's child. There is something else behind her reasoning and I need to know why she chose me for this game."

"Elizabeth, what if she comes after the boys?" Patrick asked concerned for his friend.

"She won't. She has never had any desire for Jake or Cameron or even me as long as we did not risk Nikolas being the Prince. We are not royalty and unworthy of her precious Nikolas."

"What do you plan on doing?" Robin asked puzzled.

"I don't know. I will know more when Spinelli locates her."

"Elizabeth, this is risky. I know and if I even suspect that she will come after the boys I will not do anything. I don't see that happening but if I do I won't endanger their lives. Danger is the whole reason they do not know their father and I won't let him down like that."

"What?" Patrick asked.

"Jason is Jake's father and he wanted to adopt Cameron. We even had Diane draw up the papers. Jason never got to sign them and we never got to file them."

"That makes so much sense now. I always saw something, nothing like what I saw with you and Lucky or even Nikolas."

Elizabeth smiled as she remembered the way Jason could make her feel with just a look but quickly shook it off. He's not yours, she thought.

"Why did you never sign and file the papers for Cam?" Brenda asked.

"Jake was kidnapped and we broke it off. I know Diane still has them, I signed them a month after we broke up. I told Diane that if Jason ever wanted to adopt Cam to sign them and file them. I wouldn't refuse it. As far as I know he never did though."

"How do you know?" Robin asked.

"Diane never called me, so I assumed he never did."

"And what if I told you he did?"

"What?"

"I don't know but I think he did."

"Why do you think that?"

"When I was sick after Emma was born I spoke to Jason a lot. I recall him saying something about his boys once. He knew I knew about Jake. I always thought he meant Michael or Morgan but I think now he meant Cam too."

"I don't know about that, but I will call Diane and ask her. I told her I would never refuse him signing the papers but I don't know how much I trust his judgment now that he is with Sam."

"Do you really think Jason would go back to Sam willingly? It took him years to forgive me and Michael wasn't his real son and I never put his life in danger. Sam threatened your children and you. There is more going on with Jason."

"You may be right but I can't worry about him right now. He chose that life. He always said there was never a choice but there was. He could have fought for me and the boys but he chose the coward's way out and chose to leave us behind to face the world alone. And I let him; I encouraged it, fought it and then just gave in. But this isn't about him, at least not right now. Back to Helena."

"Ok, but Elizabeth, what you just said needs to be said to Jason. Plus much more. He needs to know what he did to you. Not just for you but for him too." Brenda spoke.

"In due time. One miracle at a time, didn't you say." Elizabeth said with a small smile. "I just need to know you will be here for me when I find the answers from Helena. I think the answers will rock a lot of worlds."

Robin, Patrick and Brenda all shook their heads in agreement.

Patrick spoke "I will be here but at the first sign of danger I am pulling you out. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"Why isn't Steven here? You two have seemed so close the last few months." Patrick asked.

"We are and I will most likely speak to him about some of this but there are other things I know he won't agree with and he will fight me on it. Big brother watching out for little sister and all." Elizabeth smiled.

"I don't think I have met Steven." Brenda said.

"Oh no, Brenda cannot introduced to your brother. He will fall in love instantly." Robin laughed.

"I don't think I need any more many in my life right now."

"You wouldn't say that if you met Steven."

Patrick glared at Robin as she spoke about Steven. He was hurt, jealous and even more determined to win her back. Elizabeth saw the hurt in Patrick's eyes as Robin and Brenda continued to speak about Steven.

Elizabeth patted his hand and said "Why don't we go play with the boys and Emma?"

"That sounds great."

Patrick and Elizabeth disappeared into the living room. Elizabeth sat on the couch while Patrick and the kids played and thought about what and who was next on her list and when Spinelli would have answers for her. She was hoping soon because she needed answers to Aiden for that part of her heart to start to heal.

Across town~

Sam hurried back to her office when she spotted Jason and Elizabeth on the docks. When she saw Spinelli was not there she called Helena.

"He's not yours, my dear. You knew that from the beginning."

"What do you mean he is not mine? He was always mine. And now that I finally have him back I am not about to let him go."

"What do you mean have him back? He doesn't even know what is going on. It took him eight months to finally sleep with you and that wasn't on his own will, was it my dear?"

"He loves me Helena, he does."

"My dear, how could he really love you? You watched his son get kidnapped, you terrorized the love of his life and his children, he threatened to kill you, you have lied to him and to top it off when he finally let you back into his life on a friend's basis you started drugging him to sleep with you. He may have loved you at one time but I am sure that in a clearer state of mind Jason Morgan does not love you."

"You're wrong."

"We should ask his dear friend Robin. It took him years to forgive her. Or maybe we should ask Mr. Craig about the affects of the drug. I may be wrong about his love for you or rather you may be wrong about his hate for you but that is neither here nor there at this point, now is it?"

"What do you want from me now? I didn't think you still needed me since you obviously have an agenda of your own that you put into place without telling me. Why didn't you wait for my plan to work?"

"Because Samantha my dear it wasn't working and I needed results sooner rather than later. And Miss Webber, well she gets the job done. Don't worry I do not plan to blow your plan out of the water. Have all the fun you want with Mr. Morgan but remember you are working for me. Understood?"

"Yes, I understand. Why can't we get rid of Elizabeth now? She gave you the Quartermaine/Cassadine Heir that you desired. Why didn't you kill her?"

"Because if I did that how would I keep you in line, Samantha. She keeps you on your toes."

"What do you need from me now?"

If she did not help Helena, she would rat her out to Jason and even if she continued to help Helena Jason could still find out and most likely sooner rather than later. Was the little time she had left with Jason worth her life? She knew that somewhere Jason still loved her but it was taking a lot longer for him to realize that without the drugs and if he kept bumping into Elizabeth that would never happen. She had stopped drugging him a few days ago but as soon as the drugs were out of his system she saw him with Elizabeth. And she knew he remembered his time with Elizabeth. On the bright side, she didn't seem to want anything to do with Jason now that she had lost Aiden as well. Maybe after their harsh encounter today, Jason will forget about her. Maybe he really does love me, but will he forgive me for drugging him? He had to; she was only doing what was best for them. Sam continued to rationalize her decisions in her mind as Helena told her what she needed done.

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**_Read and Review. I appreciate all the reviews, they keep me writing._**


	8. Chapter 8

_**I am so sorry it has been so long for me to update. School, work, work, work and home life have kept me busy. And then the last few months with GH drama has had me disheartened. But I had an urge to write this evening and I hope people are still interested in the story. I am sorry if at times there are a lot of things going on. I have a lot of ideas and sometimes they all rush together at once. As always let me know what you think.**_

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_Chapter 8_

Elizabeth woke the next day surrounded by some of the most important people in her life. After their long talk and playing with the boys, Brenda, Robin, Patrick and Emma camped out on the living room floor with Elizabeth and the boys. Elizabeth had to smile as she looked over and saw Robin and Emma with their heads on Patrick's chest. She knew it was too soon for Robin but she hoped that they could work things out. Elizabeth quietly got up from the couch walked over to nudge Patrick. She knew that he would love the moment, but would feel awful if Robin awoke with her head on his chest. Patrick opened his eyes as Elizabeth nudged him. She moved her eyes to Robin so Patrick would notice the two beautiful girls lying on his chest. Patrick smiled proudly, then softly moved Robin's head to her pillow and placed Emma beside Robin as he got up off the floor. Patrick followed Elizabeth into the kitchen.

"You ok?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? After all I created my own mess." Patrick tried to joke but Elizabeth knew he was trying to hide the pain.

Elizabeth gave him a reassuring smile as she walked over to the refrigerator. "Well, that is true." Elizabeth laughed and Patrick looked at her with a smile. "Patrick, remember give Robin time. You can't push her. That's why I woke you before she woke. I knew you would love the moment but not what would follow if Robin woke before you."

"Thank you, Elizabeth. I appreciate everything you are doing and I admire what you are doing for yourself. So what is on your list for today?"

"Well, first it looks like a trip to Kelly's to get my guests coffee and breakfast because we do not have anything in the refrigerator." Elizabeth chuckled as she shut the refrigerator door. "Can you man the fort while I am out?"

"I will try. I may wake Cam and Jake up before anyone else wakes up though. They may be able to man the fort more than me."

"Alright. I am going to go change and head to Kelly's." Elizabeth left Patrick in the kitchen looking out the window as she headed upstairs to change and head out. She knew he needed some time to think on his own.

Jason woke up on the couch with an eerie feeling. He knew he hadn't been dreaming but something gave him a feeling that something bad was going to happen. He didn't know what or how but he needed to have Spinelli check on some things and up the security on everyone. Something didn't feel right. Jason stood from the couch mentally making a checklist and hunger suddenly struck him. He couldn't remember the last time he was actually hungry and ate because he was actually hungry. Jason headed upstairs to take a shower and change before heading to get some food. As Jason was walking to his room, he noticed neither Brenda nor Spinelli had come home last night. That's odd, Jason thought. Jason made a note to call Brenda's bodyguards on his way to Kelly's to make sure she was alright. Jason showered and dressed quickly as his hunger was increasing. On his way out the door and down to the garage he called Brenda's bodyguards to check on her.

"Frankie, where is Brenda? She didn't come home last night." Jason demanded as soon as the bodyguard answered.

"She camped out at Miss Webbers with Robin Scorpio and Patrick Drake and the children. They are still asleep now, Miss Webber just left to get breakfast for them all."

"What? Call me as soon as Brenda leaves. I need to speak to her."

"Yes, boss."

Jason hung up the phone, angry that Brenda was at Elizabeth's again. What is she up to, Jason thought. Jason climbed on his bike, hoping the wind and speed would calm him down. A few minutes later he arrived at Kelly's to a sight that took his breath away. Elizabeth walking into Kelly's. She looked beautiful he thought. Hair in a pony tail, jeans and a sweatshirt. She never looked better he thought. He stood at the door looking in debating on whether he should do in or not but his stomach urged him in. Jason approached the counter trying not to look at her but was finding it hard because she was looking perfect and reminding him of when they first became friends and she worked at Kelly's.

"I see you, Jason." Elizabeth finally said after she kept catching his not so subtle glances. "For an enforcer you sure aren't so subtle with your looks." Elizabeth chuckled.

Jason slid over to the stool beside her and said "Sometimes there is just something that takes your breath away and it is hard to be subtle."

Elizabeth was shocked by his words and blushed.

"So what brings you to Kelly's this morning?"

"My stomach." Jason laughed. "I can't remember the last time I was this hungry."

"You should try the soup." Elizabeth teased.

"No soup for me. At this moment, I am perfectly healthy." Jason teased back. "What about you?"

"I have a hungry household to feed and no food in the house." Elizabeth laughed.

Mike came out then with Elizabeth's order.

"Here you go, Elizabeth. Do you need anything else?"

"No, I think that is all. Thank you, Mike." Elizabeth turned to walk away but Jason grabbed her arm.

"Jason, don't." Elizabeth demanded.

"Elizabeth, I never stopped loving you and the boys. I need you to know that."

"You have a funny way of showing it. But I do too. I can't do this now, though. But believe me Jason we will have to talk soon." Jason let go of her arm and Elizabeth walked quickly out of Kelly's. Jason sat there for a few minutes wondering what he was in for. When Elizabeth got mad there was a hell to pay and he knew if anyone had that right at this moment it was Elizabeth.

Elizabeth got in her car trying to compose herself. Why does he do this to me? Why does he make me think he stills care? What about Sam? Of all people why her? She terrorized our boy? Why her? Elizabeth, get it together. You need to concentrate on Aiden and why Helena did this to you? At that moment her phone rang.

"Hello."

"Maternal one, the grasshopper is so sorry to call at such an early hour but he has news of the utmost importance to share."

"Have you found Helena?"

"The grasshopper has located a trail, but the destination is still unknown. The grasshopper wanted to update the maternal one on the progress. The wicked witch seems to have someone created many different trails but the grasshopper believes that he is currently following the correct one into Italy. As soon as I have the exact location I will let you know."

"Did you say Italy? Why Italy? Greece is more Helena's style. How long until you have an exact location?"

"Yes, Italy, maternal one. This trail seems more active than the others. The grasshopper believes the other ones have been used as decoys for the prince of darkness to follow. It looks like the prince is looking for Helena too. I should have an exact location by tonight."

"Thank you, Spinelli. I appreciate your hard work on this."

"No problem maternal one. I am glad to be of service to such a kind person. The grasshopper will call you tonight with an update." Spinelli hung up the phone wondering if he really was doing the right thing. Stone cold would kill him if he knew what he was doing for the maternal one but he hoped that stone cold understood he was just trying to help the maternal one. And spared his life because of it.

Elizabeth sat in car thinking about what she was going to do with the information Spinelli supplied her with tonight. She had already put some money aside to buy a plane ticket to where ever Helena was and she also had a friend on stand by to help her. She was going to ask Jason to help so she needed someone that was just as lethal to help. Elizabeth picked up her phone again and dialed a number that few people had.

"Johnny, be ready this evening. Spinelli will have the information for me then."

"Sure thing, Lizbits. I will be in Port Charles by this afternoon. I will meet you at your place."

"Thank you, Johnny. See you soon."

Elizabeth had contacted Johnny before she met with Spinelli. As much as she wanted to do this on her own she knew she couldn't do both the physical and emotional aspects of this journey. She would love to have Jason by her side but she knew that was impossible and only one other person came to her mind. She was one of the few Port Charles residents that knew Johnny was actually alive and living near by. Just another surprise for the residents of Port Charles. Elizabeth had to smirk at that. Elizabeth went to start her car and noticed she forgot the orange juice for the boys. She noticed Jason leaving and headed back into Kelly's. After Mike handed her a jug of orange juice she thought she was going to be heading home, but there were other plans set for her. When she turned around there was one of the people from her list standing in front of her.

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**_So what do you think? Who should be next. I have a couple scenarios and one person I am leaning towards but I want to see who you are looking forward to. Read and Review, your reviews keep me inspired and really do encourage me to continue writing. Thanks!_**


	9. Chapter 9

_Just a quick chapter. I wanted to get this one posted so I could start on the next one, which I am really excited about. :) R&R. Your reviews and encouragement keep me going. And thank you for that. _

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**_Chapter 9_**

He's not yours, Elizabeth thought as she tried to get herself together enough to form words. In front of her was the baby she carried for nine months to only have him taken away because he wasn't her son. He was Emily's. And there stood one of her childhood best friends that she could barely look at now.

"Nikolas." Elizabeth said while trying not to reach out for Aiden.

"Elizabeth. How are you?" Nikolas asked being the polite prince as always.

"Good." Elizabeth wondered if this would be a time to mark another off her list. If she didn't do it now she may not get another chance. She didn't want to go to Wyndemere again and Nikolas very rarely left. "Can we talk?"

"Just for a minute. Aiden has a checkup."

Elizabeth heart hurt as she thought she was not taking him for his checkup but she walked over to a table and sat down determined none the less. Nikolas followed with Aiden.

"I don't know where to begin, Nikolas. Brenda told me that I should confront some people in order to move on with my life. You are one of the people on my list but I don't know what to say. What happened between us should have never happened. Not because of Lucky because honestly Lucky shouldn't have happened either. Just because I was trying to ignore a pain that wasn't going away. My heart broke when Jason and I stopped seeing each other and instead of healing from that I went back to Lucky. And I wasn't happy so then I tried to cause myself more pain by sleeping with you and hurting not only myself and Lucky but you. I thought that if I just suffered a large enough heart ache that the one from Jason wouldn't hurt as bad. And in a way it did work because I have never felt a pain as great as losing Aiden."

"Elizabeth…"

"No, please let me finish." Elizabeth pleaded while trying to get her thoughts together. "I was angry with you and Lucky and even Jason. But I am angry and upset with myself the most. I let this go as far as it did and never should have. You and I, Lucky and I, Jason and I will never work. We have all changed so much and I am not what you or Lucky or Jason are looking for. We all need to move on from the childhood fantasies we had. We need to grow up and realize that people do change and do not stay in love with their first love or first crush. I don't understand why your grandmother did this. But she gave you the one thing I know you always desired, Emily's child. I am happy for my best friend and you. She finally has the little boy she always wanted with you. I just wish she could be here to see it. She would be such a great mother to Aiden. Even though I am hurting because he is not mine, I find comfort in knowing he is carrying a part of Emily with him everyday. Please take care of him Nikolas, tell him stories of Emily, good and bad, make sure he knows about the four musketeers, let him know the Quartermaines, they need someone to hang on to. Nikolas, a part of me will always love you for the friendship you have given me over the years but the last few years hasn't been me and I know it hasn't been you either. I am not Emily and while a part of her will always be in my heart and your heart I will never replace her. Grieve for her. You won't ever be able to have a good relationship until you do."

"Elizabeth, thank you"

"For what?"

"You could hate me for pushing myself onto you while you were engaged to my brother and you have every right. You could hate me for what my grandmother has done to your life. I have been keeping Aiden at Wyndemere because I didn't want to hurt you but here you are standing strong. But I should know that you always stand strong."

"Believe me I hurt every day but I am moving forward and getting answers to things that will help me to keep going. Just make Aiden and Spencer happy and make Emily proud. I need to head out. Thank you for listening to me." Elizabeth stood to leave and Nikolas stood too.

"I hope you find what you are looking for." Elizabeth just smiled as she picked up the orange juice from the table and walked out the door and away from the child she still wanted to raise as her own. When Elizabeth was in her car and on her way back to her house, the tears started to fall. She cried for her childhood, she cried for the friendships she lost, the best friend that would never meet her son, the little boy that would never know what a wonderful mother he had, she cried for the answers she still needed and she cried for the future that was ahead. Elizabeth feared for the answers Helena had, she had a nagging feeling this wasn't just about Aiden and hurting the Spencers.

Jason pulled into the parking garage and parked his bike. He couldn't get his mind off of Elizabeth and the pain she was going through and that he couldn't be there for her. You did it to yourself. You could have been there to protect her. Her third child could have been yours. You walked away, taking the easy way out. You left her vulnerable. You hurt her more than Nikolas or Lucky ever could. Jason tried to clear his mind before heading up to the penthouse; he knew Sonny would be there soon to talk business. As he was getting on the elevator he noticed Sam's car parked in the corner. Great, he thought, I don't have time for her games right now. Jason stepped back off the elevator and headed back to his bike. He called Sonny and said he would have to reschedule their meeting and hung up the phone before Sonny could say anything. Jason didn't know where he was going but he needed to clear his mind. He took off down the road, driving as fast as he could letting the wind take him and remembering a voice telling him to go faster. Oh, how he missed her on the back of his bike. Jason headed to Vista Pointe, a place of solitude. At least there, he had no cell service and he could be at peace for a while.

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